When my husband had his heart attack three years ago today, I remember knowing our lives would be forever changed. I also knew that I wanted to raise awareness in regard to the importance of listening to our bodies. I wrote more about the day of his heart attack here, today I wanted to talk about perspective and how this day forever changed our family. My husband’s heart attack happened on Friday the 13th (the day before my birthday). I remember joking with my husband, Rob, and his cardiologist that Friday the 13th was always a lucky day for me until that fateful day. His cardiologist reminded me that it still is my lucky day because my husband lived. Talk about a humbling and eye-opening change in perspective. He was absolutely right, and since then I have tried to be grateful for the positives that have resulted from his heart attack.
Time
Before my husband’s heart attack, he would come home after a 14-hour work day, eat dinner with us and then head off to his home office where he would work until 1-2am. He would wake up at 4:30 am and repeat the same schedule M-F. During this time, he was very disconnected from our family. When he was home with the kids, he would turn on a movie so he could work at the same time.
There is nothing that makes the fragility of time more obvious than having a heart attack when your son is only 18 months old. Since then, he spends quality time with his family. He takes vacations and truly disconnects from everything other than making memories with us. I am grateful that he survived. I am grateful that we have been given this second chance at time.
Humor
It may strike people as an oddity that we make heart attack jokes. My husband jokes that the reason he had a heart attack is that my birthday, Mother’s Day and our anniversary are within a 5-day span. Or when we are talking about a big investment and he clutches his chest which immediately elicits an eye roll from me. We know how lucky we are to joke about his heart attack and never want to minimize anyone’s struggle or loss. Our jokes are a defense mechanism. They help make light of a situation that deep-down scares the $#!* out of us! I am grateful he survived. I am grateful we can still laugh together.
Health
Right after the heart attack I remember panicking about sodium content, saturated fats and pretty much everything he was ingesting. He went on a diet of salmon and veggies for lunch and dinner for months. It helped to feel like we had a little bit of control over the situation.
The first year, Rob was completely dedicated to his health. He worked out regularly and ate a clean diet that his cardiologist recommended. While, he isn’t as devoted to being clean as he was in the beginning, he is making better choices most of the time. I am grateful he survived. I am grateful he has the opportunity to prevent this from happening again.
I hesitated to write this post for a few reasons; mostly I did not want to offend anyone who had lost a loved one to a heart attack. Believe me, I know how fortunate we are to have this second chance. It’s because of this second chance (that many people do not get) that we try to change our perspective and look for the positive. I appreciate your reading my rambling thoughts, it is cathartic for me to put them on paper…err screen. You get what I am saying.
With love,
Shahla
I thought I was having a heart attack on Friday. I sent an email to my husband telling him I loved him and our son. My left arm was close to numb. I had THE most stressful “day” and it was only 10am! After years of dealing with stressful aging parents in the States (I live in Australia now) and handling all of their medical, financial and legal concerns (and my son just turned 7), on Thursday I found out that I was going to have to do the exact same thing with my completely incapable sister and her 24 year old daughter when my sister was diagnosed with MS. Clearly I survived. I prayed, and the stress truly dissipated, but it reared it’s ugly head again. God is telling me that I can’t handle all of this. My body is telling me I can’t handle all of this. I’m going to God all day all night…. but I know I need to be careful. Thank you for posting this (I followed through IG). It’s popped up as yet another reminder. I’m guessing that the three things like I thought about are what you discussed 1. Stress 2. Diet 3. Exercise. If I’m missing something, and you have the time, I’d love to know. This is a timely reminder. Thanks!
Jules! Oh my goodness, I am so sorry to hear about all of the stress in your life! Yes, continue to pray and also be persistent in your medical care. Rob refused to go to a check up for years prior and then when he was having his heart attack symptoms he was dismissed with “asthma”. It was confirmed to not be asthma but signs of heart disease. Sending you prayers and healing thoughts.
I just read the first blog on this. I literally said “fake it til you make it” out loud when I got in my car this morning, after another stressful phone call. That’s a sign. ❤️
Oh mama, I am thinking of you and praying for peace and health.