After having both of my children, I battled with postpartum depression. With my son, I had postpartum anxiety as well, which has unfortunately stuck around as general anxiety today. I do not write about it much, mostly because I am still in the thick of it, trying to get a handle on my anxiety. Every time I would try to write about my mental health journey, I would delete it and think– how can my story help anyone, if I can’t heal myself?! Currently fighting the urge to close my notebook and walk away from the topic again.
Maybe my perspective is off. Maybe my standards are too high. Maybe I should not expect “healing” but rather; acceptance, understanding and patience. I need to accept that anxiety is part of my life. I need to understand that it is okay that I do not have it all together. I need to be patient with myself and celebrate the small things I have done that have made a difference in my anxious life. Maybe (and this is a big one for me to admit) I need to be kinder to myself. Have you ever stopped to listen to your internal voice? Mine has become mean, critical and defeating. I would NEVER speak to my children that way, why would I subject myself to that damaging treatment? That topic calls for its own post on another day.
While I do not have my anxiety completely under control, nor am I a professional (please seek out help from a professional for your anxiety or depression) I will share those small things that I know are helping me chip away at my anxiety struggles.
Clean Your Room
One of the most important things I have done is clean up the clutter in my bedroom. Waking up to clutter and things that need to be put away can get the best of my anxiety. I try to keep my bedroom clutter-free; that means no laundry basket with clothes to put away, shoes on the floor, etc. I know this may seem hard when you are anxious or depressed, but don’t overthink it. I will literally take a big basket throw everything in it and stick it in my closet or another room. I will eventually get to it, but it isn’t staring me in the face and throwing me off when I wake up. Another tip– making your bed first thing in the morning also gives me sense of accomplishment and makes me feel a bit in control.
Take a Moment
Find a moment, even if it is a few minutes, to practice mindfulness. Believe me, I know how hard it is to carve a moment to yourself. I will either set my alarm to wake up before the kids so I can have a cup of coffee in silence or I will tell them to have 30 minutes of quiet time (usually ends up being 15, but I will take it!) in the afternoon where I can also be still.
Some nights I will diffuse calming essential oils and play soft piano music before I fall asleep. It helps with my quality of sleep and allows me to process my feelings for the day.
Have A Mantra
When my feelings of anxiety start to get the best of me, I repeat the word “breathe” to myself. It calms me down and literally reminds me to take a deep breath. Or I will picture myself standing next to the ocean because it seems to make my worries seem smaller.
Exercise
I notice I am more anxious on days where I do not workout. Being active helps me channel a lot of my anxiety. Even a fast-paced walk around the block can help me cope with my feelings. If I simply cannot fit a walk or trip to the gym on my schedule I try to do something small that is active, like run up my stairs a couple times.
Do you have or know someone with anxiety? What has helped?
With love,
Shahla
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